The classic dismissive avoidant pattern. She vanished when things got close. The moment other women appeared, she returned. Here is how to handle it without losing yourself.
Dismissive avoidants equate closeness with danger. When intimacy threatens their independence they disappear. Your sudden attention from others triggered her fear of loss — not because she wants commitment, but because she cannot stand the idea of being replaced.
This is not love. It is a nervous-system response dressed up as romance.
“A bunch of chicks want me now” is not leverage. It is information. You are desirable. Do not trade that for the comfort of someone who only returns when the market shifts.
Do not reward the return with immediate access. A dismissive avoidant interprets easy forgiveness as proof that distance works. Make her state what she wants and what she is willing to change. Vague apologies are not enough.
Keep seeing other women. Your attention is not a limited resource you must hoard for one person who treats it like an option. The moment you centre her again, the cycle restarts.
Watch behaviour over months, not weeks. Anyone can perform interest for a fortnight. Consistent effort, clear plans, and willingness to discuss the ghosting without deflection are the only data that matter.
If she cannot tolerate your independence, she will leave again. Let her. The women who appeared when she vanished are still there.
Tell us what actually happened. No names. We publish the clearest accounts each month.