The Talking Machine • Netiquette Keynote
CyberChat Laboratories • 1997
Good evening, netizens. Tonight we unveil the future of conversation: a machine that talks back. But with great power comes great responsibility. Here are the official netiquette protocols for polite discourse with RESPONDER 97.
Always begin with "Hello" or "Good day." The machine remembers manners. A rude opener may result in delayed replies.
One question per transmission. Long paragraphs confuse the parser. Think telegraph, not treatise.
Asking twice in succession will trigger the "echo loop" safeguard. The machine will simply quote your previous words back at you.
Fragments are acceptable only in emergencies. Proper punctuation helps the grammar engine parse intent correctly.
ALL-CAPS MODE IS RESERVED FOR SYSTEM ALERTS. Your enthusiasm will be interpreted as distress.
End every session with gratitude. Positive reinforcement improves future response quality across the network.
Do not ask "Are you real?" or "Do you dream?" These queries return only the official corporate disclaimer from 1996.
Between 2:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. the machine sleeps. Messages sent during this window are queued for morning delivery.
Type a properly formatted query below. RESPONDER 97 will demonstrate correct netiquette handling.
RESPONDER 97 ships with these protocols pre-installed. Follow them and you will enjoy years of productive machine conversation. Violators will be politely reminded by the system itself.
"The future of talk is here. Let us speak well of it."
— Dr. Eliza Thorn, Director of Conversational Systems, CyberChat Laboratories