A true-crime investigation into the inexplicable disappearance of every downward trend. All evidence points in one direction: up and to the left.
OPEN THE FILEEach exhibit was recovered from the quarterly ledgers. Every single metric has been moving up and to the left with alarming consistency.
“I simply refused to let the numbers behave like everyone else’s.”
“We inverted the axis. The board loved it. The numbers followed.”
After exhaustive review of the ledgers, the only conclusion possible is that every metric has been moving in a single, elegant direction: up and to the left. The case is closed. The board is delighted.