EVIDENCE
Photographic documentation of failures submitted with the claim. All images taken on-site, 1997.
The universal constant has failed to perform. This is the formal filing.
On the twelfth day of March, 1997, a formal warranty claim was lodged against the force known as gravity for repeated and catastrophic failure to maintain consistent downward pull on all terrestrial objects, including but not limited to: unsecured tools, hot coffee, and the user’s own sense of stability.
The defendant is accused of breach of the original warranty issued at the formation of the universe: reliable attraction of mass toward the planetary core at all times, without exception, hesitation, or artistic interpretation.
Claimant seeks immediate remedy: either full restoration of reliable downward force or a written statement that gravity is no longer fit for purpose and must be replaced by a superior system.
Photographic documentation of failures submitted with the claim. All images taken on-site, 1997.
Gravity was sold to us as an immutable law. It has proven neither immutable nor lawful. We demand accountability from the oldest product on earth.
All claims are logged in the permanent 1997 registry. No confirmation will be issued.